Labels: Chasing Life
posted by S A J Shirazi @ Monday, January 20, 2025,
2 comments,
Abbas Khan in Sabaq-e-Urdu
Tuesday, 14 January 2025
Labels: Abbas Khan, Books, Fiction, Literature, Urdu
posted by S A J Shirazi @ Tuesday, January 14, 2025,
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Khalid 4 and beyond
Wednesday, 8 January 2025
I will offer my comment after I read the book that I got today (Thanks to Nauman Siddiqui). Let me add that this is not military history but personal memorabilia that reflects upon comradeship and association of about four decades. Also, this kind of work is first of its nature in the history of the Pakistan Army. No other platoon or even a course has been documented this way. This will give a lot to the family of 55 PMA and the next generations.
Labels: 55 PMA, Men At Their Best
posted by S A J Shirazi @ Wednesday, January 08, 2025,
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Hari Yupuya to Harappa
Harappa or “Hari-Yupuya” as mentioned in the “Rig Veda” marked the height of urban development of the Indus valley civilization at 2600 B.C.E till 1900 B.C.E. for 700 years. Harappa is located in the present day province of Punjab, near Gogera, and in its full glory was the perfect prototype of a fully developed city of the Indus valley civilization. It was the perfect reflection of the kind of organized thought which the Rig Veda emphasized. [Wheeler, Kenoyer].[go over page 25 at the end].
Harappa has the same humble beginnings as any other large city. It began as a village settlement, gradually growing over the centuries to accommodate renowned craft industries, world accessible markets, and clean residential areas and cemeteries. Harappa is 128,800 hinterland, and 150 hectares in area. Harappa city was so developed and central to the Indus Empire that the name Harappa became synonymous with the dominant culture at the time, followed by all the other cities in the Indus region, right down to Kutch on the coast in present day India. [Rehman, Kenoyer].
Labels: Travel
posted by S A J Shirazi @ Wednesday, January 08, 2025,
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Celebrating Abbas Khan – a story writer
Tuesday, 7 January 2025
Labels: Abbas Khan, Books, Fiction, Literature, Writers
posted by S A J Shirazi @ Tuesday, January 07, 2025,
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Anything a man loves, he takes care of. Remember that.
Labels: Chasing Life
posted by S A J Shirazi @ Monday, January 06, 2025,
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Fog in Lahore
The fog is triggered by temperature inversion -- the formation of a static layer of cooler air close to the ground as the nighttime temperature drops. Normally, air closer to the ground is warmer than the air above it, and therefore rises. Inversions are frequent on winter nights after the ground has cooled down so much that it begins to chill the air closest to it often causing mist to form as water vapor precipitates on dust particles. Normally the morning sun swiftly breaks through the mist and heats the ground, which warms the air above it, breaking the inversion.
Labels: Environment, Lahore
posted by S A J Shirazi @ Monday, January 06, 2025,
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‘Blogocracy’: Tri-city UnConference Lahore Camp
Saturday, 4 January 2025
Pakistan blogosphere is growing fast. Thanks to the Second the Annual Pakistan Blog Awards and the series of tri-city UnConferences aimed to bring leadership to Pakistan’s New Media voices that the awareness is also growing. Pakistani bloggers now have a very loud voice in this din. Latest, presentation of awards and UnConference session (last of the series ths year) held in Lahore on Jan 4, 2012 in FAST is a testimony to how blogs have become mainstream. In the UnConference, the group of able panelists, who seemed to be in know if the new opportunities being presented by social media - highlighted the role of blogs in all fields of human activities while most of the audience live streamed every thing discussed there. Here are my suggestions for effective and intelligent blogocracy (read democracy) in a very local context:
Labels: Fine Art of Blogging
posted by S A J Shirazi @ Saturday, January 04, 2025,
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The Decline of Urdu Newspapers
Friday, 3 January 2025
Labels: Print Media
posted by S A J Shirazi @ Friday, January 03, 2025,
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Labels: Chasing Life
posted by S A J Shirazi @ Friday, January 03, 2025,
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Family Dynamic
Thursday, 2 January 2025
One of the key signs of this dysfunction is the constant undermining of the breadwinner’s authority. His opinions are ignored or ridiculed, his attempts to enforce rules are met with defiance, and major family decisions are made without his input. In some cases, the spouse or even the children take on dominant roles, leaving him with little say in how the household is run. This role reversal can be especially emasculating if he is criticized for not being "strong enough" or compared unfavorably to other fathers or husbands (BA). The more his authority is challenged, the more he may withdraw, which only worsens the cycle of disrespect.
The consequences of this dynamic are far-reaching. Without a stable leadership structure, the household becomes chaotic with frequent conflicts and power struggles. Children may grow up without a clear sense of authority, mimicking the dismissive behavior they see at home. The breadwinner himself may feel increasingly powerless, leading to stress, low self-esteem, or even depression. If left unaddressed, this pattern can damage relationships long-term, teaching children unhealthy ways to interact with authority figures in their own future families.
To fix this imbalance, the family must recognize the problem and work toward healthier communication. Open discussions and will to keep the family intact can help restore mutual respect. The breadwinner may need to reassert his role, while the rest of the family should acknowledge his contributions. Rebuilding trust and setting clear boundaries can help restore balance, ensuring that the household functions smoothly and that all members feel valued. But, unfortunately, none of the kids or the wife wants to do that.
Labels: XAI
posted by S A J Shirazi @ Thursday, January 02, 2025,
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Hazrat Ammar Bin Yasir (RA)
Labels: Companion of the Prophet (PBUH)
posted by S A J Shirazi @ Thursday, January 02, 2025,
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How can I learn to let go?
Wednesday, 1 January 2025
Romantic and emotional at heart, I always assumed my partner would be my safe space, but that did not happen. Over time, my wife, a housewife, has become very difficult. There is a visible shift in her behavior. She is loudly critical, demanding, and nagging, holding back all kinds of affection. Worst of all, her behavior often pits me against our son, and it becomes difficult for me to avoid and save face. In fact, instead of being my safe space, she has turned into another battle in my life.
Digging into the past, a longstanding issue has been our disagreement about my financial support for my parents - a commitment deeply rooted in my personal, religious, and cultural beliefs. This disagreement has shaped the narrative of our family life and strained our relationship since the beginning. With the passing of my parents, I now grapple with lingering feelings of loss and guilt, wishing I could have done more for them during their lifetimes.
Moreover, meaningful conversations between my wife and me are thwarted by her unwillingness to engage in rational discussions. Whenever I attempt to convey my perspective, I am met with dismissal. She often retorts, “You have answers to everything,” which stifles the possibility of constructive dialogue. As a result, I frequently feel unheard, and unresolved issues linger like shadows over our interactions.
Unfortunately, my wife has consistently refused to acknowledge her mistakes or take responsibility for her actions. Moreover, she has shown no willingness to work towards resolving our issues and restoring a sense of normalcy to our relationship. She doesn’t hesitate to put me down in front of children. Shielding behind the children and refusing to communicate or find a resolution has left me frustrated, hurt, and unsure about our future together (whatever is left of the future). This behavior has shredded my self-esteem…
Our kids grew up in a house where arguments were the norm. Seeing daily bickering, disputes, and shouting matches has had an impact on them.
Life's struggles have made me frugal (call me minimalist, miser or whatever). With my legacy already destined for family, I prioritize prudence, questioning the value of excessive spending. For instance, I ask myself: why invest in repairing the floor when the luxurious drawing room offers no sense of comfort? Or why install a new AC in a living room (lounge) where I can't comfortably sit and chat with my kids?
Thanks to my full-time job, my days are consumed by work. Staying home constantly would have been even more isolating (I had a daunting experience during COVID-19). At my home, it feels like living in a temporary residence, distant from the comforts of home.
I don't want to take any extreme steps after 45 years of marriage and 5 kids, but I keep thinking that I don’t deserve this. This worry is getting serious with every passing day.
How will I spend my old age? One of my daughters once said, “Think about those who don’t have anyone to live with, or to take care of.” Another one added, “Allah is the best of planners. He will make up for what you don’t have.”
One of the girls, who is very bold and the wisest of all, says, “You have lost your chances due to your weakness. Now, the only thing you can do is endure with grace.”
None of the kids is in a position to influence any of us. Seeing me in miserable condition, children privately sympathize with me, but that is about all they can do. I am sure the kids sympathize with their mother also. They should. Though it is difficult for them to balance. Children can't choose between the two of us.
The situation is taking a toll on our son for two reasons. On one hand, he's deeply concerned about both of us and our well-being. On the other hand, he's hesitant to involve his newlywed wife, likely due to her perceptiveness. Despite his wife’s probable suspicions, I have been maintaining a façade of normalcy until recently, when my wife blew it up.
Lately, I've noticed my daughters quietly distancing themselves as if they're giving me the silent treatment. They have been withdrawing from me emotionally, and it's causing concern. I'm not sure how to bridge the gap between us.
I asked myself about the solution to my mental miseries, and the answer was, “All this is a result of expectations, assumptions, and complaints. Stop expecting, complaining, and assuming, and you will be perfectly all right. But that is so difficult. In a way, that would mean letting go of my children (when I need them the most), everything.
For the sake of our children's happiness and well-being, I've chosen to prioritize harmony, be more understanding, and avoid conflicts, to create a peaceful environment at a place that they can call their ancestral home.
But the problem is that there is no end to it... The more I compromise, the more she takes advantage, using our kids as leverage.
Labels: XAI
posted by S A J Shirazi @ Wednesday, January 01, 2025,
1 comment,
